Nobody's Perfect

Beauty in the Raw

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We as females are always talking about how the media is trying to force us to be perfect- tall, blond, and anorexic with huge boobs, white teeth and clear skin. We’re always talking about how men are so critical of us, how the whole world holds us to unattainable expectations.

One of the things I’ve always liked about Suicide Girls, aside from the fact that they give me gorgeous women to ogle, is the fact that the women they choose are rarely the same women you’d see on the cover of Cosmo or in Victoria ’s Secret catalogue. They’re women with freckles, pale skin, short hair, stretch marks, thin lips, big hips, piercings, and tattoos. Women who might otherwise be considered imperfect. They aren’t all size 4’s, or even size 8’s. They aren’t made-up, coiffed, and airbrushed to death. They look like real girls, girls that might be your girlfriend or your neighbor, girls that despite the lack of photo shop and silicone still have the ability to take your breath away.

Sometimes you look at them and think, her nose is oddly shaped, or what is that mark on her arm? Somehow when we see a picture we impulsively judge, even more so than we would a body on walking down the street; it’s as if our culture decided that only those who are aesthetically flawless deserve to be memorialized in print.

I saw this picture on Suicide Girls today, and it surprised me, I had to look twice, because honestly when else do you see someone showing there cellulite on purpose? I knew there’d be some nasty comments about this, so I scrolled down and to my surprise none of the guys even mentioned it, they all seemed happy to look at her pretty face, cool haircut, and natural sex appeal; they didn’t seem distracted by the fact that she was imperfect. In my experience most guys don't care that we don't look perfect, they think we're beautiful anyway. Disappointingly however, the females, couldn’t help critiquing or suggesting that the photo needed a little airbrushing help.

Lots of women have cellulite, even small, fit women. Jessica Simpson has been photographed showing it on her thighs, as has Paris Hilton. Lots of women have uneven, blotchy skin, or breakouts. Lots of women have hair that doesn't lay perfect, teeth that aren't a Colgate commercial, or boobs that don't defy gravity. All of us have something we don't like about ourselves, and often it's something that save for surgery can't be altered. Why do we hold ourselves and each other to an unattainable standard, rather than choosing to see the beauty in our differences and "flaws". We as women should understand how hard it is pluck and wax and moisturize every inch of ourselves, primp,  straighten and arrange until we are blue in the face and still find ourselves a far cry from the girl on the cover of Playboy. We should realize that not everyone is born with huge blue eyes, long slender legs or Angelina Jolie lips.

Some women are born with good genes and a quick metabolism, and they're lucky. Some people aren't, but that doesn't mean that our imperfect selves should cower in a corner, spouting self-loathings, hiding out in shame of our flaws. It doesn't mean we should tear down each other either, because when we do that, we only tear down ourselves.  

I’m tired of beautiful women insulting themselves; I’m tired of mom’s instilling in their daughters the idea that no matter what we do or how hard we try, we are never good enough.  I'm tired of hearing about 9 year olds on diets, 10 year olds getting their ears pinned back, or parents paying for thier 16 year old's boob job.  

Men are always telling us how much they hate hearing us complain about ourselves or lament that pesky fat on our arms.  It seems normal that we all have moments when we don’t feel our best, or look in the mirror and don’t see everything we’d like to. Couldn’t we start looking at what we like instead? Couldn’t we start learning to love ourselves enough to see what our friends, our husbands and our boyfriends see?

Being sexy means not giving in to that little voice that finds our faults, it means learning to be comfortable and confident, with who we are, saying thank you to take compliments, rather than denying their validity.

So maybe it’s not the media, or men who are to blame for our cultures unrealistic expectations, maybe it’s ourselves. We may not be perfect, but we can still be sexy.

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